Joyful Things
The 2024 Bon Sequitur Seasonal Gift Guide
Disclaimer/Bad-Land Acknowledgment:
I’d like to begin by acknowledging that The Gift Guide is an aberrant tool of Late Capitalism, designed to soothe the harried and overstimulated scroller into a gentle buzz of complacency before inducing an exchange of financial information for the promise of a trebled dopamine experience: the immediate one-click acquisition high, the package-on-the-doorstep anticipatory thrill, and (one hopes) the sustained pleasure of having such purchase(s) be integrated into one’s Life of Things.
Obviously the rampant proliferation of consumer culture (and, more nebulously, the unchecked appetite for chemical reward) is directly responsible for the all-too-soon-coming demise of the planet and life as we know it and is therefor totally Bad but, before we all go spinning off Earth into the vast nothingness of the de-corporealized cosmos, I’d also like to acknowledge that as a child of said-culture (and literally, as a daughter of a wonderful gift-giver) I take immense (if somewhat shameful) pleasure in not just the buying, giving and receiving of Things (and some non-object, lower-case things) but also the scrolling and reading of Gift Guides that proliferate the internet around this time of year (this one in particular). And, finally, for better or worse, I acknowledge this is probably coming to you too late to order anything in time for Christmas… a nice, gentle dusting of irony on top of everything else. Also, none of these recommendations give me any kickbacks. This is not a sponsored post!
Without further ado…
The Bon Sequitur Guide to Good Gifts & Nice Things I Recommend Improving Your Life Experience With
Radiooooo — I’ve been using Spotify for about 6 years, having gradually subsumed most of my listening habits into its app (copying playlists over from iTunes, looking up albums, following curators and creators and so on). I have several thousand songs in my “favorites” list (and not a very creative or adventurous ear, to be clear) and yet when I set that list to shuffle the same songs come up over and over til I’m as sick of hearing them as Christmas music in December. Don’t get me started on Discover Weekly. Wrapped? Fuck yourself. Anyway, I heard about Radiooooo on a podcast about how Spotify sucks and downloaded it immediately. You can choose which decade or country to explore (Russia in the 1990’s is my current vibe) or just buckle up for a magical musical ride around the world via a cute, illustrated interface. Please Note: if you are in my immediate or near-immediate family do not purchase this app, as doing so will negate my ability to gift it to you.
Lola Blankets — if you are someone who only wears and buys natural fibers, these are not for you. Skip ahead and judge not: Lola blankets are guaranteed to melt in a fire. Everyone else: these are the softest, coziest, most luxuriously tactile blankets I’ve ever snugged into. Everyone in my household is obsessed. Kora never made biscuits til Lola came along, now she’s practicing for Star Baker. I have a group text thread dedicated to exalting them (and sharing discount codes: never buy Lola full price). I have bought more than I care to admit. I will probably buy more. BF55 gave 55% off last we checked.
yes, I have a blanket problem Perfume Sample Sets — If you or someone you love is a lover of perfume, refrain from buying full bottles as gifts (no matter how pretty the bottle is or how much you think you/they’d like the scent according to the notes listed on the package) and instead BUY SAMPLERS. If you (/they) like a fragrance enough to run through a sample of it (a standard 2ml vial offers at least 20 sprays), then buy a bottle. Do I follow this rule? No. But I do buy sample sets, which introduce me to all kinds of scents I wouldn’t try based on label notes alone, which I then panic about potentially never having enough of, which inspires a sort of fugue state which, when exited, appears to have spontaneously manifested another bottle in my collection.
Don’t be me, but do try new fumes. Of Fumerie’s current selection I recommend the samplers of Naomi Goodsir, Eris Parfums and Meo Fusciuni, the latter being the most superlative perfumer I’ve come across yet.
Taschen Books — but not yet! Taschen has a twice-yearly sale that deeply discounts (like up to 75% off) a ton of their catalog and is responsible for beautiful oversized books gradually accumulating in my living room. Get on their mailing list — the next sale is (I think) late January/early Feb, or just in time to gift yourself a stack of nice things for V-Day.
Red Lipstick — I once owned the holy grail of lipsticks, a brick-red Armani that glided on, didn’t bleed, stayed forever, and never clumped or dried out my lips. Friends, they discontinued it. I scoured the internet and bought what were probably the last four sticks in existence, all of which are now empty and stashed in my dresser for some future chemist to analyze and dupe. Since then I’ve searched high (end) and low (brow) for a reasonable alternative — this Dior is the closest I’ve come, though I have a basket full of runners-up. As Dayna once told me: put some lipstick on, you’ll feel better.
S & B Umami Topping (Crunchy Garlic with Chili Oil) — No contemporary gift guide would be complete without the author’s preferred brand of crispy condiment and this here’s mine. A bright red blend of (just a little) heat, salt, oil and crunch beautifully balanced on a hefty backbone of MSG, I put this on most of the rice bowls that make up 80% of my meals and I recently had to give Cat her own can before she ate the rest of mine (just kidding, Cat, you are always welcome to my crunchy garlic with chili oil).
They make smaller jars too, but why would you do that? Historical note: When I first moved to London I briefly shared a flat with a French guy (Aurelien) and a Chinese girl (Li Yanan) — this was 2001 and we were all roughly the same age, barely 20, so I feel justified in referring to her as a girl. We were also broke as shit and mostly eating (and drinking) from the corner off-license but Yanan would make spaghetti with jarred chili oil from the Asian markets and swear-to-god I have spent the 20+ intervening years trying to find the flavor and texture of that memory and this is definitely close.
Drake General Store — I discovered this Canadian compendium of joyful things This Very Morning and ordered some very cool shit at very low prices that will definitely not get here before Christmas but will absolutely be delightful to receive and regift whenever it does arrive. Pro tip: order a lot to make the flat-rate shipping fee count. I did!
this is not what I ordered but the budgie would definitely look good in my living room. Midnight Pacific Seeing Double Ring Workshop — Midnight Pacific is the jewelry studio that I sublet space in, owned by the talented Stacey Mairs. The second time I took her stone-setting class (before renting a bench) I asked if I could go rogue and make an open, two-stone ring — she somewhat-reluctantly agreed but oh! has now dedicated a full workshop to the design, as I so learned when I opened her site a few days ago to send someone a workshop link. I feel famous.
Potter’s Table Seeded Crisps — I can’t in good faith recommend ordering these direct from the baker because they’re at least twice as expensive as they were where I found them, at the new Alberta St Coffee on the ground floor of Cascada (um, also recommend, but please don’t buy up all the crisps). They’re kinda like Trader Joes’ Gluten Free Norwegian Crispbread, which I also love, but crackier. Crunchier. Flakier. Seedier. Savorier. I need more, I need a bulk source that isn’t over $2 per cracker.
WTFPots — I couldn’t let my favorite choking-chicken planter make a cameo appearance without telling you where I got him. Be warned: WTFPots is most definitely NSFW.
Tarot Decks & Readings — Clearly, as an entrepreneurial artist and small business owner I shouldn’t miss an opportunity to remind you that not only are my incredible, original decks available to purchase (and will likely arrive before Christmas if ordered by 12/18!) — I also sell prints and readings, including (my favorite) a Three Card Spread: “three 3.33” x 3.33” archival prints of random cards + bespoke prosetry that might change your life … or lead to more questions, or confirm what you know.” Dive in!
May I also suggest…
Or. Take all the cash/credit you would’ve spent following my advice and donate it to Palestinian relief efforts, either individual (mutual aid like GoFundMe helps families fleeing Gaza) or to organizations such as the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund and House of Hope Vision School (or, better yet, all of the above). Sometimes I feel a decision paralysis around knowing where to give money (and the election-year onslaught-tsunami of fund-begging texts from every Democratic PAC & candidate across the country turned my stomach to the entire donation-based landscape, unfortunately) — it helps to ask someone with more knowledge than I about who’s doing good work most legit-ly. The above suggestions come from my dear old friend Quinne (old like longtime, not like old-old — not yet!), who does things like organize and emcee stand-up comedy shows for Palestinian relief when she’s not social-working and single-momming. (Quinn, I don’t even know if you read this but I love you and I would let you eat all of my Potter’s Table crisps.)
Chana Joffe-Walt says this in the latest episode of This American Life: “There's something I've been thinking about when it comes to kids and wars, but kids in Gaza in particular. It's something a psychologist told me, Dr. Iman Farajala, who studies the effect of war and occupation on Palestinian kids. She told me it really gets under her skin when people at the UN or healthcare professionals or whatever say kids in Gaza are suffering from PTSD. Post-traumatic stress means the traumatic event is over. For kids in Gaza, the trauma is continuous. There is no post. There's no opportunity for recovery. Instead, there is just coping.”
In my experience, much of recovery is also just coping.
Taken apart, or opened to metaphor, each of the items on this list have offered me a different way of coping for a different day — and some of them, some healing. Let’s break it down, for fun:
music
tactile comfort
sensory stimulation
visual inspiration
feelin’ pretty
a quick trip to flavor-town
fantasy life disassociation
craft
snacks
laughter
art, introspection
connection through writing
empathy
Humans love Things. It’s part of what makes us human… the tools, the art, the arbitrarily-valued shiny objects, the intangible meaning we invest them with. We’ve been burying the dead with artifacts almost as long as we’ve been burying them at all. The weight of all that stuff surrounding all those bodies is heavy indeed… the divestment of one’s material possessions seen as an act of utmost spiritual grace, the trend toward minimalism an echo of that exalted sacrifice.
I live in a house full of beautiful things, a potential future’s estate sale that I'd die to be at myself. But when a different house was threatened by fire I didn’t care much about anything other than the pets and people packing the cars to get out. Maybe this is part of what kills us, that lets us kill the world — the acquisition and the expendability, the raw substance balanced against its insubstantiality in the face of one’s own death, or that of those we love. You can’t take it with you, but you leave a lot behind.
Merry Christmas (et cetera), everyone!
With love in the paradox,
♥️!Z
Might it have been Lao Gan Ma? That’s what every Chinese person I know in London cooks with…. 💕
hi, i live here. in your comments. why are our favorite things always discontinued? your red, stella perfume, aveda color correct shampoo (just for the smell alone I obsess), American eagle artist cut jeans (rip high waist boot cuts), and so on. I have hoarded what I can as prices sour in scarcity. love in abundance, product in scarcity.